250+ Savage Yet Hilarious Comebacks for Tell Me Something

When someone hits you with “Tell me something I don’t know,” it’s your cue to unleash a comeback that’s equal parts savage and hilarious.

These 250+ all-new, witty responses are crafted to deliver a verbal knockout while keeping the laughs rolling.

Written in pure English and safe for all ages, these comebacks are perfect for group hangs, text battles, or friendly roasts.

Ready to own the moment? Dive into this collection and fire away!

Table of Contents

Best Savage Yet Hilarious Comebacks for Tell Me Something I Don’t Know

Sarcastic Zingers

Oh, I’d tell you something new, but your brain’s already at capacity with “how to annoy me 101.” Try again.
I’d share a fun fact, but you’d probably forget it before I finish the sentence. Pass.
Something you don’t know? The world doesn’t revolve around your ego, but nice try.
I could tell you a secret, but you’d just misquote it in the group chat. Next!
You don’t know? Shocker, considering your expertise in stating the obvious.
I’d drop some knowledge, but your head’s too full of hot air to handle it. Maybe later.
Something new? Your mirror’s been lying to you about that haircut for weeks.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d argue it’s fake news anyway. Save your breath.
You want new info? Your confidence in asking dumb questions is truly inspiring.
I’d share something, but you’re still processing “1+1=11.” Keep up, champ.

Pop Culture Burns

I’d tell you something new, but you’re still stuck on the plot twist from 90s sitcoms. Catch up!
You don’t know? Even Baby Yoda’s got more secrets than you can handle.
Something new? Your trivia game’s weaker than a reality show reject’s comeback arc.
I could spill some tea, but you’d choke on it like a bad audition for a talent show.
You want a fact? Your pop culture knowledge is older than dial-up internet.
I’d tell you something, but you’re too busy rewatching the same superhero movie. Move on!
Something you don’t know? The 80s called, they want their references back.
I’d share a hot take, but you’d fumble it like a cancelled TV show’s finale.
You don’t know? Even Netflix algorithms know more about you than you do.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’re still quoting memes from 2010. Update your game.

Witty One-Liners

Something you don’t know? Your confidence is braver than your Wi-Fi signal.
I’d tell you a fact, but your attention span’s shorter than a viral video. Try focusing.
You want new info? Your socks have more personality than your last hot take.
I could share something, but you’d trip over it like your own ego. Stay sharp!
Something new? Your playlist’s been on repeat since middle school.
I’d drop a truth bomb, but you’d dodge it like you dodge responsibilities.
You don’t know? Your fashion sense is still lost in a time warp.
I’d tell you something, but you’re too busy mastering the art of napping.
Want a fact? Your coffee order’s more complicated than quantum physics.
I’d share a secret, but you’d spill it faster than a reality TV drama.

Playful Jabs

Something you don’t know? Your dog’s smarter than you, and it’s not even close.
I’d tell you something new, but you’re still figuring out how to open a pickle jar.
You want a fact? Your dance moves are a bigger mystery than Area 51.
I could share a tidbit, but you’d lose it like you lose your keys every day.
Something new? Your fridge has more culture than your last conversation.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’re too busy perfecting your couch potato pose.
You don’t know? Your cooking’s scarier than a horror movie jump scare.
I’d tell you a secret, but you’d fumble it like your last attempt at flirting.
Want a fact? Your phone’s got a better social life than you do.
I’d share something, but you’re still mastering “how to not interrupt.”

Tech Takedowns

Something you don’t know? Your laptop’s begging for an update more than you are.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d Google it wrong and start a conspiracy theory.
You want new info? Your password’s weaker than your texting game.
I could share a tech tip, but you’d crash your phone trying to apply it.
Something new? Your Wi-Fi’s got more dropouts than your life goals.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d think “cloud” means actual weather.
You don’t know? Your tech skills are stuck in the flip-phone era.
I’d tell you something, but you’d ask Siri to explain it first.
Want a fact? Your screen time’s longer than a Lord of the Rings marathon.
I’d share a secret, but you’d post it online with the wrong hashtag.

Foodie Roasts

Something you don’t know? Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d burn it like you burn toast every morning.
You want new info? Your food combos belong in a science lab, not a kitchen.
I could share a recipe, but you’d turn it into a culinary crime scene.
Something new? Your fridge is emptier than your pickup lines.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d eat it with ketchup and call it gourmet.
You don’t know? Your pizza order’s more predictable than a rom-com plot.
I’d tell you something, but you’re too busy raiding the snack drawer.
Want a fact? Your cooking’s so rough, the microwave’s filing for divorce.
I’d share a secret, but you’d pair it with ranch dressing and ruin it.

Fashion Fails

Something you don’t know? Your wardrobe’s stuck in a decade nobody misses.
I’d tell you a fact, but your outfit’s already screaming “fashion emergency.”
You want new info? Your shoes are so old, they’re applying for Social Security.
I could share a style tip, but you’d wear socks with sandals anyway.
Something new? Your closet’s more outdated than a flip phone.
I’d drop some knowledge, but your mirror’s been lying to you for years.
You don’t know? Your hat’s got more personality than your last outfit.
I’d tell you something, but your jeans are begging for retirement first.
Want a fact? Your style’s so retro, it’s practically a museum exhibit.
I’d share a secret, but your wardrobe’s already spilling all the tea.

Work and Hustle Burns

Something you don’t know? Your work ethic’s lazier than a Monday morning.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d procrastinate listening to it until next week.
You want new info? Your coffee breaks are longer than your actual work.
I could share a tip, but you’d nap through the meeting anyway.
Something new? Your inbox has more unread emails than a ghost town.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d file it under “do later” forever.
You don’t know? Your desk’s messier than a reality show drama.
I’d tell you something, but you’re too busy perfecting your “busy” face.
Want a fact? Your to-do list’s been blank since high school.
I’d share a secret, but you’d delegate it to someone else.

Social Skills Slams

Something you don’t know? Your small talk’s more awkward than a first date.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d interrupt with a story nobody asked for.
You want new info? Your texting game’s weaker than a one-bar signal.
I could share a tip, but you’d fumble it like your last attempt at charm.
Something new? Your jokes land like a bad pickup line at a bar.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d overshare it in the group chat.
You don’t know? Your party vibe’s duller than a Monday staff meeting.
I’d tell you something, but you’d turn it into a three-hour monologue.
Want a fact? Your flirting’s so bad, it’s banned from dating apps.
I’d share a secret, but you’d blurt it out like a human megaphone.

Gaming Gags

Something you don’t know? Your gaming skills are stuck in tutorial mode.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d rage-quit before I finish the sentence.
You want new info? Your K/D ratio’s lower than a noob’s first match.
I could share a tip, but you’d button-mash your way to a loss anyway.
Something new? Your controller’s got more wins than you do.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’re too busy camping in the worst spot.
You don’t know? Even NPCs are embarrassed by your aim.
I’d tell you something, but you’d get distracted by a loot box.
Want a fact? Your gaming setup’s better than your actual skills.
I’d share a secret, but you’d lose it like you lose every match.

Fitness Flops

Something you don’t know? Your workout’s lazier than a sloth on vacation.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d skip it like you skip leg day.
You want new info? Your gym selfies outnumber your actual reps.
I could share a tip, but you’d rather nap than lift weights.
Something new? Your treadmill’s collecting more dust than your dreams.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d drop the dumbbell first.
You don’t know? Your yoga poses look like a confused flamingo.
I’d tell you something, but you’re too busy “resting” between sets.
Want a fact? Your protein shake’s doing more work than you are.
I’d share a secret, but you’d sweat trying to process it.

Music Mishaps

Something you don’t know? Your playlist’s older than a vinyl record.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’re too busy butchering karaoke classics.
You want new info? Your taste in music’s stuck in a middle school time capsule.
I could share a tip, but you’d blast it at max volume anyway.
Something new? Your dance moves are scarier than your playlist.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d sing over it off-key.
You don’t know? Your speakers are begging for a genre upgrade.
I’d tell you something, but you’re too busy remixing the same old song.
Want a fact? Your music taste’s so bad, it’s banned from aux cords.
I’d share a secret, but you’d turn it into a bad cover version.

Driving Disasters

Something you don’t know? Your parking’s worse than a bumper car crash.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d miss it like you miss every turn signal.
You want new info? Your driving’s so bad, GPS gave up on you.
I could share a tip, but you’d brake too hard and ruin it.
Something new? Your car’s got more dents than your logic.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d swerve right past it.
You don’t know? Your parallel parking’s a bigger mystery than Bigfoot.
I’d tell you something, but you’re too busy cutting off the highway.
Want a fact? Your road rage is louder than your car’s horn.
I’d share a secret, but you’d crash trying to process it.

DIY Debacles

Something you don’t know? Your DIY projects are a Pinterest fail on steroids.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d hammer your thumb trying to understand it.
You want new info? Your toolbox is more embarrassed than you are.
I could share a tip, but you’d glue yourself to the project first.
Something new? Your shelves are so crooked, they’re applying for disability.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d drill a hole through it.
You don’t know? Your “fixes” are worse than the original problem.
I’d tell you something, but you’d tape it together with duct tape.
Want a fact? Your DIY skills are banned from hardware stores.
I’d share a secret, but you’d botch it like your last furniture build.

Pet Peeve Pokes

Something you don’t know? Your whining’s louder than a toddler’s tantrum.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d complain it’s too complicated.
You want new info? Your chewing’s noisier than a construction site.
I could share a tip, but you’d leave dishes in the sink anyway.
Something new? Your hogging the remote’s a bigger crime than your jokes.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d interrupt with a pointless story.
You don’t know? Your snoring’s scarier than a horror movie soundtrack.
I’d tell you something, but you’d borrow it and never return it.
Want a fact? Your messiness is giving landfills a bad name.
I’d share a secret, but you’d leave crumbs all over it.

Trivia Takedowns

Something you don’t know? Actual facts, apparently, since you’re asking me.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d argue it’s wrong with zero evidence.
You want new info? Your trivia game’s weaker than a Wikipedia stub.
I could share a tidbit, but you’d Google it and still get it wrong.
Something new? Your brain’s got more gaps than a trivia night scorecard.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d fumble it like a quiz show fail.
You don’t know? Shocker, since you think “trivia” means “guess wildly.”
I’d tell you something, but you’d mix it up with a bad movie quote.
Want a fact? Your knowledge bank’s been overdrawn since grade school.
I’d share a secret, but you’d botch it on a game show buzzer.

Fitness Fumbles

Something you don’t know? Your gym membership’s working harder than you are.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d pant just thinking about it.
You want new info? Your workout’s less intense than a nap.
I could share a tip, but you’d skip it like you skip cardio.
Something new? Your running shoes are lonelier than your motivation.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d bench press it into oblivion.
You don’t know? Your plank’s weaker than a paper towel.
I’d tell you something, but you’re too busy flexing in the mirror.
Want a fact? Your fitness goals are dustier than your dumbbells.
I’d share a secret, but you’d stretch it into a yoga fail.

Social Media Snafus

Something you don’t know? Your posts are less viral than a bad cold.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d hashtag it into oblivion.
You want new info? Your selfies are thirstier than a desert.
I could share a tip, but you’d filter it into a blurry mess.
Something new? Your likes are lonelier than a ghosted DM.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d tweet it with the wrong context.
You don’t know? Your Stories are duller than a PowerPoint slide.
I’d tell you something, but you’d overshare it in a live stream.
Want a fact? Your profile’s more outdated than a MySpace page.
I’d share a secret, but you’d post it with a cringey caption.

Cooking Catastrophes

Something you don’t know? Your cooking’s worse than a reality show disaster.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d burn it like your last attempt at dinner.
You want new info? Your recipes are scarier than a haunted house.
I could share a tip, but you’d microwave it into a tragedy.
Something new? Your kitchen’s more chaotic than a food fight.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d season it with sadness.
You don’t know? Your food’s so bad, the dog’s filing for custody.
I’d tell you something, but you’d char it beyond recognition.
Want a fact? Your cooking’s banned from every potluck on Earth.
I’d share a secret, but you’d turn it into a culinary crime.

Time Management Tangles

Something you don’t know? Punctuality’s a thing, and you’re allergic to it.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d show up late to hear it.
You want new info? Your schedule’s messier than a toddler’s art project.
I could share a tip, but you’d procrastinate applying it.
Something new? Your clock’s ticking slower than your to-do list.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d snooze through it like an alarm.
You don’t know? Your deadlines are lonelier than a deserted island.
I’d tell you something, but you’d be late to the punchline.
Want a fact? Your time management’s worse than a soap opera plot.
I’d share a secret, but you’d forget it by tomorrow morning.

Party Pooper Puns

Something you don’t know? Your party vibe’s duller than a flat soda.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d kill the mood faster than a bad DJ.
You want new info? Your dance moves are banned from every club.
I could share a tip, but you’d spill it like the drinks you fumble.
Something new? Your party skills are weaker than a deflated balloon.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d trip over it on the dance floor.
You don’t know? Your small talk’s emptier than the snack table.
I’d tell you something, but you’d leave early like a party buzzkill.
Want a fact? Your party game’s so bad, the wall’s having more fun.
I’d share a secret, but you’d ruin it like a bad karaoke performance.

Fashion Faux Pas

Something you don’t know? Your outfit’s screaming for a style intervention.
I’d tell you a fact, but your wardrobe’s stuck in a fashion black hole.
You want new info? Your shoes are so old, they’re writing memoirs.
I could share a tip, but you’d pair it with plaid and polka dots.
Something new? Your style’s more outdated than a flip phone case.
I’d drop some knowledge, but your closet’s already a crime scene.
You don’t know? Your accessories are louder than your personality.
I’d tell you something, but your outfit’s already saying too much.
Want a fact? Your fashion sense is lost in a 90s time capsule.
I’d share a secret, but your wardrobe’s spilling all the beans.

Sports Slip-Ups

Something you don’t know? Your jump shot’s worse than a broken hoop.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d fumble it like your last game.
You want new info? Your sports skills are weaker than a benchwarmer’s.
I could share a tip, but you’d trip over it on the field.
Something new? Your team’s carrying you harder than a backpack.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d miss it like a free throw.
You don’t know? Your athletic vibe’s more spectator than player.
I’d tell you something, but you’re too busy airballing your shots.
Want a fact? Your sports game’s so bad, the scoreboard’s embarrassed.
I’d share a secret, but you’d strike out trying to process it.

Random Roasts

Something you don’t know? Your logic’s loopier than a rollercoaster.
I’d tell you a fact, but you’d twist it like a bad plot twist.
You want new info? Your ideas are wilder than a conspiracy theory.
I could share a tip, but you’d lose it like your last brain cell.
Something new? Your life’s more chaotic than a clearance sale.
I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d drop it like a hot potato.
You don’t know? Your plans are messier than a toddler’s playroom.
I’d tell you something, but you’d overthink it into next week.
Want a fact? Your randomness is weirder than a sci-fi plot.
I’d share a secret, but you’d turn it into a sitcom disaster.

Why These Comebacks Shine

Nailing the Savage, Witty, and Hilarious Tone

Comebacks like “Oh, I’d tell you something new, but your brain’s already at capacity with ‘how to annoy me 101’” (sarcastic), “Something you don’t know? Even Baby Yoda’s got more secrets than you can handle” (pop culture), and “I’d tell you a fact, but your attention span’s shorter than a viral video” (witty) balance savagery, wit, and humor, perfect for epic banter.

Matching the Context

For a group chat, use “I’d tell you a fact, but you’d Google it wrong and start a conspiracy theory.” For a friendly roast, try “Something you don’t know? Your dog’s smarter than you, and it’s not even close.” For a debate, go “I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d argue it’s fake news anyway.”

Timing for Maximum Impact

Drop “Something you don’t know? Your parking’s worse than a bumper car crash” during a car ride. Use “Your gaming skills are stuck in tutorial mode” during a gaming session. Try “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs” at a dinner party.

Keeping It Funny

Avoid mean-spirited jabs like “You’re clueless.” Go for “Oh, I’d tell you something new, but your brain’s already at capacity with ‘how to annoy me 101’” or “Your playlist’s older than a vinyl record” to keep it light and hilarious.

Personalizing the Comeback

For their gaming obsession, use “Your gaming skills are stuck in tutorial mode.” For their messy habits, try “Your schedule’s messier than a toddler’s art project.” For their ego, go “Something you don’t know? The world doesn’t revolve around your ego, but nice try.”

Delivery Tips

In a group, use “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs” for laughs. In a text, try “Your gaming skills are stuck in tutorial mode” for a quick zing. In person, say “Your confidence is braver than your Wi-Fi signal” with a smirk.

Interaction Context

For gaming, use “Your gaming skills are stuck in tutorial mode.” For social fails, try “Your small talk’s more awkward than a first date.” For cooking disasters, go “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs.”

Evolving Your Comebacks

Don’t repeat “I know everything.” Switch to “Oh, I’d tell you something new, but your brain’s already at capacity with ‘how to annoy me 101’” or “Your playlist’s older than a vinyl record” to keep comebacks savage and fresh.

Handling Their Response

If they laugh, say “Got you good, but you know I’m just playing!” If they’re salty, try “Chill, it’s just a roast—take it like a champ.” If they fire back, go “Nice try, but my comebacks are still the GOAT!”

Avoiding Harsh Comebacks

Skip cruel lines like “You’re stupid.” Use “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs” or “Your confidence is braver than your Wi-Fi signal” for funny, safe burns.

Teaching Banter

Model “Oh, I’d tell you something new, but your brain’s already at capacity with ‘how to annoy me 101’” to show savage humor. Share “Your gaming skills are stuck in tutorial mode” for witty flair. Use “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs” to inspire playful jabs.

When to Keep It Short

For quick roasts, use “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs” for punchy humor. For longer banter, try “Oh, I’d tell you something new, but your brain’s already at capacity with ‘how to annoy me 101.’ Try again.”

Bonus Content: Extra Banter Ammo

5 Scenarios for Perfect Comebacks

Group Chat: Use “I’d tell you a fact, but you’d Google it wrong and start a conspiracy theory” for digital laughs.
Game Night: Say “Your gaming skills are stuck in tutorial mode” for a gaming zing.
Dinner Party: Try “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs” for kitchen burns.
Casual Hang: Go “Your confidence is braver than your Wi-Fi signal” for a quick jab.
Debate: Use “I’d drop some knowledge, but you’d argue it’s fake news anyway” for a sharp retort.

5 Ways to Elevate Your Comebacks

Add Savage Flair: Use “Oh, I’d tell you something new, but your brain’s already at capacity with ‘how to annoy me 101’” for biting humor.
Match the Moment: Gaming? Go “Your gaming skills are stuck in tutorial mode.” Cooking? Try “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs.” Social fails? Use “Your small talk’s more awkward than a first date.”
Keep It Hilarious: Write “Your playlist’s older than a vinyl record” for lighthearted laughs.
Personalize It: Mention their quirks, like “Your cooking’s so bad, [their name], it’s banned from foodie blogs.”
Be Memorable: Use “Your confidence is braver than your Wi-Fi signal” for a roast they won’t forget.

5 Comebacks to Avoid

Too Mean: “You’re an idiot” hurts; use “Oh, I’d tell you something new, but your brain’s already at capacity with ‘how to annoy me 101’” instead.
Too Personal: “Your life’s a mess” stings; try “Your schedule’s messier than a toddler’s art project.”
Too Harsh: “You’re useless” bombs; go “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs.”
Too Vague: “Whatever” flops; use “Your confidence is braver than your Wi-Fi signal.”
Too Cruel: “Nobody cares” fails; try “Your playlist’s older than a vinyl record.”

5 Follow-Up Actions to Keep It Fun

Laugh with them to show it’s all in good fun.
Fire back if they roast you to keep the banter alive.
Share a snack to cool things down after a zinger.
Record the roast for group laughs later (with their okay).
High-five to keep the vibe playful and friendly.

5 Tips for Crafting Your Own Comebacks

Stay Savage: Use “Oh, I’d tell you something new, but your brain’s already at capacity with ‘how to annoy me 101’” for sharp humor.
Be Witty or Playful: Try “Your gaming skills are stuck in tutorial mode” or “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs” for versatility.
Keep It Short but Punchy: Comebacks like “Your playlist’s older than a vinyl record” hit hard without dragging.
Match the Context: Gaming? Go “Your gaming skills are stuck in tutorial mode.” Social fails? Try “Your small talk’s more awkward than a first date.” Cooking? Use “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs.”
Show Playful Vibes: Add “Got you good, but you know I’m just playing!” to keep it light.

Conclusion

From sarcastic zingers to pop culture burns, these 250+ savage yet hilarious comebacks for ‘Tell me something I don’t know’ will make you the star of any banter session. Perfect for shutting down the challenge with wit and laughs, you’re ready to dominate. Want more clever clapbacks? Check out our other guides for more banter ammo!

FAQs

Q. How do I use these comebacks without being too harsh?
Use “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs” for a funny jab, and end with a laugh to keep it playful.
Q. What’s a good comeback for a group chat?
Try “I’d tell you a fact, but you’d Google it wrong and start a conspiracy theory” for digital laughs.
Q. Can these work in a friendly roast?
Yes! Use “Your confidence is braver than your Wi-Fi signal” for a lighthearted burn.
Q. How do I make my comeback personal?
Go with “Your gaming skills are so bad, [their name], they’re stuck in tutorial mode” or mention a quirky habit.
Q. Are these comebacks safe for all ages?
Totally! Use “Your playlist’s older than a vinyl record” or “Your cooking’s so bad, it’s banned from foodie blogs” for fun, safe roasts.